How to Stop Letting Your Emotions Get the Best of You
Take control of how you feel and how you react.
Have you ever said something out of anger or rumbled-up emotions? How did you feel afterward? Did you wish you could have done things differently?
You’re not alone if you feel this way. We’ve all done things we aren’t proud of because we made our emotions get the best of us.
Sometimes you get so emotional about something that it affects how we interact with others and our decisions. Our mood affects us more than we can imagine.
With just one wrong move based on your emotions, we can make the best or the worst decisions in our life.
So we must keep our emotions in check or control how we allow our emotions to affect us. Having control over your emotions will make you mentally and emotionally strong.
The good news is that it is possible to have that control. Like everything else, you can learn to control your emotions through practice and consistency.
Here are some practical steps to help gain better control over your emotions:
1. Identify your triggers. Knowing your opponent is the best way to fight. Know what triggers you to the point of losing it. When you can identify your triggers, it’s easier to dodge or see them coming so you can analyze the situation.
● For instance, if you realize that watching violent movies reminds you of old memories that cause you pain, you can avoid watching movies with violence or anything relating to it.
2. Analyze your impact. Think about the aftereffects of your actions. Sometimes we only see how badly our actions affect others after doing them. So it will be wise if we stop to think about the impact of our actions before we make a move.
● You can ask yourself these questions: Am I acting on impulse? Is my decision right? How would it affect those around me? How would I feel about this later?
3. Accept your emotions. Sometimes, out of ego, we refuse to accept how we feel. There are times we get overwhelmed by emotions that we can’t tell what we feel at the moment.
● Take some time to accept what you feel. Covering your emotions or pretending not to feel how you feel only makes it worse. It doesn’t make it go away.
● Anger sometimes disguises emotions that feel weak, like guilt or embarrassment. And also, there’s a possibility that suppressing your emotions can cause you to turn to unhealthy coping habits like food or alcohol abuse.
4. Find a solution. Maybe staying calm for a few minutes or going away from the scene helps you control your emotions.
● Look for practical ways to control your emotions when you find yourself in situations that could trigger you.
5. Communicate effectively. Most complicated unresolved issues result from inadequate communication. Another way to learn to control your emotions is to learn how to express them to the other party’s understanding.
● Being all worked up by your feelings could blind you from seeing how you’re expressing them.
Having control over how we react to things requires some work and mind training. It may take a while, but the results are rewarding. Keep in mind these few tips and make an effort to put them into practice while being patient and consistent.
How to be a Better Communicator
Communication is the key when it comes to anything that involves collaboration. Since humans are a social species, communication is involved in nearly everything you do.
Some people are born with the natural ability to communicate well, while others may struggle with it. No matter what category you fall into, it's likely that you can benefit from paying attention to improving your communication skills.
Why Better Communication Helps You
Did you know that most businesses consider your communication skills to be the most important characteristic about you? This means that you could have top-notch knowledge and job skills but still fail to land a job if you're lacking in the communication department.
Communication is certainly not only important when it comes to your work life, but it's also vital in having a successful home life as well. Couples and family members that are good communicators lead happier lives overall.
Proper communication will prevent misunderstandings and save you time so you won't have to go back and explain yourself again and again. You know you've gained good communication skills when you can communicate your thoughts effectively with as few words as necessary!
How To Improve Communication With Others
Communication is a two way street. This means that you could have excellent skills, but if the recipient is lacking, then you may not be understood. This is why it's important not only to develop our speaking skills, but our listening skills, too.
Since you can't affect the skill level of others, the only thing you can do is strengthen your own communication skills. Besides, when you're an excellent communicator, more people will understand you, everything around you will run more efficiently, and you'll more often get what you want!
Try these strategies to improve your communication skills:
1. Avoid arguing. If you run into a snag in a conversation and it starts to morph into an argument, step back and realize what's going on. It's easy to get swept up into the blame game, but ultimately it's not important who's at fault. What's important is the mutual understanding of the issue at hand and a desire for a solution that benefits everyone.
2. Don't be afraid to compromise. You may be tempted to try and "win" but that's not the best way to reach a mutual agreement. You may be happier with getting your way, but it may come at the expense of the other person, which can cause further issues. Find a good compromise that you both can willingly accept.
3. Work on listening. Your listening skills are even more important than your speaking skills. After all, how will you know what you should say - and when - if you haven't effectively listened? Listen more than you speak and you'll gain a profound wisdom of others, too!
4. Keep your focus. Communication will get overly complicated if you worry about too many issues at once. Avoid bringing up the past or other issues and, instead, focus on the one topic at hand.
5. Stay calm and take responsibility. Adopt a calm and cool manner of handling situations. When things remain low key, it's easier to communicate and get your point across. This also means that you need to take responsibility for what you say. Don't be afraid to admit mistakes when you're wrong.
Becoming a better communicator doesn't happen overnight. But if you keep practicing and tweaking your skills, you'll be surprised at what you can accomplish.
Are Your Personal Beliefs Holding You Back?
Sometimes we focus on what to do for success and forget what habits we need to drop.
It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.
Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.
4 Strategies for Overcoming Perfectionism
The goal is progress, not perfection.
Perfectionists strive to be the best at everything they do, and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Many perfectionists excel in their fields. But that doesn’t mean that this personality trait isn’t without its downsides. When a minor setback feels like a major personal failure, that’s when perfectionism becomes a burden.
Perfectionists may hold themselves or others to standards they know are unrealistic. If your perfectionism interferes with your ability to form or maintain relationships, there are steps you can take to break free.
Perfectionism vs. Aspiring to Greatness
There is no work of art in any museum that’s perfect. Every famous painting has plenty of blemishes that only a trained eye can spot.
The Mona Lisa is a great work of art, but if you look at it with X-ray fluorescence spectroscopy, you’ll find that the painting is made up of over 40 layers of paint. Had Da Vinci gone much further beyond the 40th coat, he could have lost the subtlety of human expression his paintings are known for.
Perfectionists tend to hyper-focus on even the tiniest flaws. If you focus on the things you’re unable to do perfectly, you may end up doing nothing at all. You’ll procrastinate so much that the final product will be sub-par.
Do you see how perfectionism can become a self-fulfilling prophecy?
Acknowledge that perfection is unattainable. Instead, aspire to greatness.
Implement these strategies and overcome your obsession with being perfect:
1. Break it down. Instead of envisioning your project as a perfect whole, try viewing it as a series of well-designed, interlocking pieces.
· If you put your focus into completing each step, you’ll find that the entire process goes smoother. Stop worrying about the outcome. Instead, focus on one task after another.
· You climb a flight of stairs by putting one foot in front of the other. Avoid expecting an immediate victory. By keeping your mind focused on the task at hand, you can create forward momentum. You’ll have less time to scrutinize the overall project because you’ll be immersed in the present moment.
· If you find yourself stressing over individual steps, break your task down into smaller chunks. Complete the next action without rushing. If you take it step-by-step, you’ll chip away at a large project without agonizing over whether it's perfect.
2. Give others a break. If you find yourself imposing your perfectionism on others, stop and ask why. It’s helpful to realize that others aren’t required to live by your standards.
· The more slack you give others, the easier you can be on yourself. Everyone has unique skills and talents. Keep in mind that your friends, family, and loved ones can do many things better than you. However, it’s also likely that you excel in areas your peers struggle with.
· When you ask your friends to perform at your level in a skill where they lack confidence, they may feel controlled. Remember that our imperfections are what make us human.
3. Think in gradations. One powerful technique that you can use to claim the life you deserve is to learn to think in gradients.
· Grey is not black, and one point below 100% is not zero. At the end of the day, only you know how much work you put into a project. Be your own authority, and congratulate yourself on your effort.
· All-or-nothing thinking is unproductive because it only allows for two possibilities. But reality isn’t binary. Computers rely on binary reasoning, but that’s because computers lack the ability to feel.
· You learn and grow the most as a result of your missteps. Reality isn’t an all-or nothing proposition.
4. Embrace your sense of humor. Nothing defuses perfectionism like a healthy sense of humor.
· Cultivate the ability to laugh at yourself, and start to see beyond a single viewpoint.
· If you can find the humor in your failure, you can analyze it objectively and learn from it.
Life isn’t perfect and neither are you. Give yourself permission to let go of your perfectionist ways. Take action today by using these tips to create measurable changes in your life. You’ll be happy you did.
Are You Limiting Your Success by Making These 8 Mistakes?
While failure is never the objective…it’s an expected part of attaining success.
Success might not seem worth the stress, struggle, and disappointment. But success is quite simple, though not necessarily easy. Avoiding the mistakes that limit success is the best first step toward achieving success. Recognizing and avoiding these mistakes can provide a stepping-stone to new levels of achievement.
Avoid committing any of these success-limiting mistakes:
1. Not having effective habits in place. Regardless of your definition of success, there are habits that will help to ensure its achievement and others that create barriers. Ask yourself if you’re currently living in a way that brings you closer to success each day. What habits do you need to demonstrate each day to guarantee success?
· Great successes take time. It’s the little things, done over a long period of time, that make the difference.
2. A lack of clear and concise goals. If you don’t have a goal, how will you know if you’re successful? What is your target? Successful people have goals and review them regularly. Unsuccessful people aren’t sure what they want.
3. A lack of a plan. Those that struggle often live by default. They don’t really have a plan and a direction. The result is living life reactively. They’re either being passive or putting out fires. Put a plan in place that moves your life in a positive direction.
4. Mistaking busyness for productiveness. Mistaking 8 hours of activity for 8 hours of productivity is the result of flawed thinking. The Pareto Principle dictates that 20% of your possible options contribute to 80% of your success. Most people gravitate toward the easier, more comfortable activities that provide a limited return on your time.
· Being busy isn’t the same as making real progress. Choose the activities that have the greatest effect.
5. A lack of consistency. Champions are consistent to the extreme. You might not be interested in planning out your day to the minute and living that same day over and over again, but success does require more consistency that the average person is willing to demonstrate. Spend time each day on reaching your goals.
6. Not dealing with discomfort effectively. Progress requires new behaviors and new behaviors are inherently uncomfortable on some level. Comfort is only found in repetition, and repeating past behaviors keeps your life at a standstill. Successful people are able to deal with discomfort and move forward.
· Breathing exercises, prayer, meditation, and yoga are a few tools for moving past discomfort. Being uncomfortable doesn’t have to be a reason to not do something.
7. Not learning from mistakes and failures. The most successful people are those that failed the most. It’s common to avoid failure, but this is a mistake. While failure is never the objective, it’s an expected part of attaining success. Your first attempt at anything is merely a starting point. Failure is the tool necessary to make improvement.
· Failure is an undesired result that allows you to make a better attempt next time. Constant improvement ultimately ends in success.
8. Preoccupation with things that can’t be changed. There are a multitude of things in life that can’t be altered, particularly the past. Learn to let go and focus on the things you can alter.
Success can be elusive, but it’s much easier to find when you can avoid the most common mistakes. Avoiding mistakes is a pivotal part of success. Create a few goals and then create habits that support those goals. Deal with discomfort and learn from your mistakes. Success can be that simple.